The recent terrorist attack at one of the most secured neighborhood in Dhaka and the background of the terrorist groomed in top English Medium Schools and Universities both in the country and abroad raised a question that, whether this is the school / university should be blamed for their moral decay or the failure of parents to raise the child with the right values?
Though it’s equally important to assess the internal environment of the schools and universities to identify the peer culture but more emphasize should be given to the environment how the parents are nurturing their offspring at home.
Unfortunately this country is running various streams of education at the moment where we observe a significant number of students are either going to Government schools and madrasahs either through Bengali or English stream. On the other hand, there are English medium schools where kids from rich and upper middle class families mostly send their kids to equip them with the education that follows global curriculum. I have no issues regarding any of this academic streams or this column is not meant to be discussing the state of our education. I would like to give lights on issues how wrong at times the parents are to raise them in their formative years.
There are few parents who believe that, as their kids got admitted at the best school, they will gradually come out as a good student and a good human being. Their negligence to identify the kids values, peer group, spending habit and nature of past time may resulted in surprising discovery of a very different children who have grown up to be a spoiled person. There are other type of parents who practices overprotecting and do more harm than benefit as most of those children became distressed, frustrated and loose self-confidence. I also observe some parents who often describe their child as “more special than other children”. Gradually I found that those kids become narcissists with dominating traits of becoming a self obsessed human being.
None of the above parenting is ideal and can never help growing a child. During the formative years, kids need their parents to be in a role that will guide them to understand the values of life. Social skills are needed to develop to let them enjoy the companion of others, letting them explore ranges of literature both academic and fictions so they become more imaginative and hungry for knowledge, help them to find friends who possess similar traits or upbringing at home. A major learning happens when a kid learn how to appreciate the art, culture of the country through active participation in various extracurricular activities. It also surprises me when few parents complain about the lack of scope for their children to find a playground or not enough good organization for their children to practice extra curricular activities. It’s just the lack of openness to find the solution from the available resources and hide one’s own weakness through lame excuses.
Now I would like to discuss a sensitive issue. It’s often observes in few parents that, they don’t let the kids understand the true essence of religion. Secularism is an important behavior and its needs to be trained in formative years so that as grown up they respect the religion of others and practices their own with kindness. The recent act of terrorism and atrocity by those derailed terrorists showed how self absorbed those kids are with their own philosophy of practicing religion. Nothing can be greater than humanity and loosing humanity to anything is biggest sin on earth.
At last I would like to finish this column with one of my favorite poem by William Martin.
“Do not ask your children to strive for extraordinary lives.
Such striving may seem admirable,
But it is a way of foolishness.
Help them instead to find the wonder
And the marvel of an ordinary life.
Show them the joy of tasting,
Tomatoes, apples and pears.
Show them how to cry
When pets and people die.
Show them the infinite pleasure
In the touch of a hand.
And make the ordinary come alive for them.
The Extraordinary will take care of itself.”